You might be into the BDSM scene in public, like parties and clubs, or in just your own bedroom. Wherever you prefer to act out your scenes, bondage is known to be a healthy, relationship-building exercise. Maybe you want to just try it on for size, experiment a little bit with a pretty lady sub or dabbling with being a top.
A great, accessible way to start out with BDSM is a little light roleplay. It’s almost vanilla it’s so common at this point, and there’s probably a reason for that. If the average couple has sex two to three times per week, after 10 years together, they will have had sex over 1,500 times according to HuffingtonPost.com. That doesn’t even address the fact that you also probably have a healthy arsenal of kinks, just waiting to come out. You might have been disappointed so far by scam fetish sites, hoping to find a kinky woman to experiment with. It takes time to find a kinky date, although you can also try dating websites that specialize in kinksters, such as CollarMe.com. You’re bound to connect with at least one woman that you click with. Make a comparison with other sites by reading CollarMe Review: Read For Our Legit Rating Of This Site. The site rating can help you make the final choice about the site and find a lucky lady.
Once you find the lucky lady, you can orchestrate a meeting or scene. We suggest trying to play at a party or event first so you two can get to know each other. You shouldn’t just take a strange woman back to your home for play. You don’t know her and she could be crazy. In fact, she’s probably a little bit of an unhealthy risk taker if she’s venturing back to a strange man’s place; be wary of that.
Once you’ve gotten past scam fetish sites and have played with a few women, hopefully, you’ll have a lady who shares your kinks. You ideally will have played with her enough at public events that you know you want to act out a scene in private.
Roleplay is an easy way to start, whether you’re new to the BDSM scene or you’re just dealing with a new partner. Here are a few basic roles that we’ve found leads to the hottest kind of play.
Teacher and Student
This one is relatively easy to set up. Sometimes a school uniform can help make it hotter. Have her act out the part of a naughty schoolgirl who’s been called into the teacher’s office for a reprimand. Part of a BDSM roleplay scene is the power dynamic, so feel free to go wild with the story you concoct. Maybe she got in “trouble” for failing an exam, or she was caught passing notes in class. Have the bondage punishment fit the crime.
We’re always partial to spanking. It’s a fun, light version of a humiliation kink, but obviously make sure it’s okay with her first. Some women aren’t interested in spanking, while others love it. You should also talk about what you’re going to do during the role play or how far it’s going to go. You might both be happy limiting the sexual aspect of the scene to spanking, or you may decide that you want to go to a penetrative level; it depends on the people involved.
For situations where you’re topping, let her talk first when you’re discussing it beforehand. As always, make sure you establish a safeword. This is especially important during BDSM roleplaying.
Prostitute and John
This dynamic can hit on several different kinks at once, but it can also be fun to play a little bit with exhibitionism. Whether you want to stay in your bedroom and pretend that you and your lady got caught in a parked car as she performed services, or you actually want to do so is up to you. Be careful about the law, though. It’s illegal most of the time to engage in sexual conduct in a public area.
The hooker and client roleplay is also a good opportunity to draw attention to lingerie. Some men have a lingerie kink, which is different than appreciating the occasional skimpy get-up in the bedroom. Lingerie kink means you actually kink on the outfit itself. This can also involve the lingerie being made of a material popular in the BDSM scene, like latex or leather.
Because this roleplay infers that your partner is in a position to perform sex acts, be clear about whether you actually want to do so.
Masseuse and Client
This roleplay focuses on the theme of two people in professional positions breaching decorum. The naughty masseuse breaks the rules and starts to get frisky with his or her client.
An interesting aspect of this roleplay is that there’s no inferred particular role for either gender. You can be the masseuse or the client, and the scene still works for even the most heterosexual and cisgendered men. Don’t settle for meeting women off scam fetish sites who aren’t willing to try different things and reverse the power dynamic.
For added titillation, have the client pretend to resist, and be shocked and outraged. This adds a lot to the scene, since playing with feigned feelings of revulsion is a powerful technique. Obviously, in real life, this would be totally different. It’s always good to keep in mind that roleplay is fantasy and real life is totally different. You might encounter similar scenarios, but it’s not the same.
Boss and Assistant
This is a personal favorite of ours. Like the masseuse and client dynamic, the assistant and boss scenario is another really flexible role play. This one in particular has even more potential because you can also assign stereotypical gender qualities to the roles if you want to.
You could act out the scene as a long-suffering assistant to your dominating female boss. On the other hand, you could switch it up and roleplay that you’re the boss. The woman you’re playing with can dress up like a provocative secretary, until you decide she needs to be punished for incorrectly typing a letter.
Captured Maiden and Evil Villain
This one is for the nerdy men out of there who enjoy a good fantasy story or two, and we don’t mean sexual fantasy. Thing Lord of the Rings here, because it can be really hot. You don’t have to be into elves to enjoy the dynamic of the beautiful maiden who’s been captured and then potentially violated by the evil villain. This is a roleplay that touches on kinks of coerced kidnapping, which a surprising number of people are into. This is the more lighthearted side of it, of course.
Another fun aspect of these particular roles is the costuming potential. Some people have clothing kink and like lots of layers or specific styles of garments such as corsets. Corsetry as a fetish in and of itself is a popular interest in the BDSM scene. This roleplay is also a good candidate if you’re dealing with a woman who has a chivalry kink. You can change evil villain to handsome prince too. It depends on her preferences.
To figure out what role plays will work the best for you and your partner, try sitting down and discussing your general fantasies first. Even if they’re not about each other, stepping into that mentality will help you figure out what the hottest roleplaying scenario for you will be.